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New Releases for Tuesday, March 22, 2016

March 22, 2016

 

All Hell Breaks Loose

Genre: Exploitation
Directed by: Jeremy Garner
Run time: 92 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Format: DVD
The Lowdown: All Hell Breaks Loose is exactly the kind of well-intentioned genre film that Troma
Studios used to make back when the company pumped out such crazed offerings as “Surf Nazis
Must Die.”


This is the epitome of low-budget, DIY filmmaking by a first-time director, Jeremy Garner, who has
a handful of special effects credits, and a screenwriter who goes by the non de plume,
Vocabulariast.

 

I just wish I could say it was low-budget, DIY filmmaking at its finest. It’s not, but that doesn’t
mean All Hell Breaks Loose isn’t worth your time.

 

A long, long, long time ago — 1984, to be exact — one of my most favorite movies was “Night
Patrol,” a silly, over the top, comedy about bumbling cops that came out right about the same time
as “Police Academy.”

 

Watching it today, I would have trouble making it all the way through “Night Patrol” because my
threshold for juvenile hijinks in front of and behind the camera is far less than it was when I was
14.

 

All Hell Breaks Loose felt like a movie my former 14-year-old self would have loved. After all,
what’s not to love — there are demonic bikers, trashy strippers, gratuitous nudity, lots of gore, a
goofy undead nerd for a protagonist and an inspired depiction of Jesus that would make most
Christian conservatives seethe with righteous fury.

 

So am I just a fuddy duddy now? Should I turn in my movie geek lifetime member card and

shamble over to the assisted living facility?

 

Nah. It’s all a matter of perspective. The reality is, despite finding myself nitpicking this movie
apart like a starved vulture straddling a field mouse, I couldn’t turn it off, and that means
something. I turn off movies all the time — big, box office wannabe movies with A-list celebrities.
If it can’t hold my attention, I have no qualms hitting eject.

 

All Hell Breaks Loose held my attention for most of its run time, and I think I know why.


It’s is an admirable effort to make a movie that teenaged boys would love. It’s less concerned with
the quality of acting and more focused on the gross out effectiveness of its splatter gags. When the
plot begins to drag, it knows to pan the camera immediately to bare boobs because that never fails
to focus attention.

 

There is a market for this kind of amateur, indie material, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that market
included an inordinate number of adults well past their teenaged years. Goofy, nonsensical gore
interlaced with an appreciative, loving nod to the drive-in classics that never merited box office
billing counts for something, especially among nostalgia-loving boomers.

 

If a bloated CGI mess like “Gods of Egypt” can open wide and muster several million dollars in box
office receipts, then this simple story of a boy who marries a virgin girl, gets killed by demonic
bikers on his honeymoon and is resurrected by a cowboy Christ to exact his revenge as an
indestructible zombie should be welcomed with open arms for at least trying to be fun and
entertaining.

 

That said, I can’t recommend All Hell Breaks Loose to anyone who isn’t willing to turn their brain
off and summon their inner teenager to bubble back to the surface for an hour and a half. You just
won’t get it, but that’s OK. I don’t think this was ever meant for you folks anyway.

 

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Yes.
Nudity – Yes.
Gore – Considerable.
Drug use – Yes.
Bad Guys/Killers – Demon bikers, wouldn’t you know.
Buy/Rent – Rent it.

 

Also Available:

 

Daddy’s Home
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs
Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series
Turn: Washington’s Spies – The Complete Second Season
The Royals: Season Two
Black Mama, White Mama
Disturbing Behavior
Perry Mason Movie Collection: Volume 5

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