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New Releases for Tuesday, March 22, 2016

All Hell Breaks Loose

Genre: Exploitation Directed by: Jeremy Garner Run time: 92 minutes Rating: Unrated Format: DVD The Lowdown: All Hell Breaks Loose is exactly the kind of well-intentioned genre film that Troma Studios used to make back when the company pumped out such crazed offerings as “Surf Nazis Must Die.”

This is the epitome of low-budget, DIY filmmaking by a first-time director, Jeremy Garner, who has a handful of special effects credits, and a screenwriter who goes by the non de plume, Vocabulariast.

I just wish I could say it was low-budget, DIY filmmaking at its finest. It’s not, but that doesn’t mean All Hell Breaks Loose isn’t worth your time.

A long, long, long time ago — 1984, to be exact — one of my most favorite movies was “Night Patrol,” a silly, over the top, comedy about bumbling cops that came out right about the same time as “Police Academy.”

Watching it today, I would have trouble making it all the way through “Night Patrol” because my threshold for juvenile hijinks in front of and behind the camera is far less than it was when I was 14.

All Hell Breaks Loose felt like a movie my former 14-year-old self would have loved. After all, what’s not to love — there are demonic bikers, trashy strippers, gratuitous nudity, lots of gore, a goofy undead nerd for a protagonist and an inspired depiction of Jesus that would make most Christian conservatives seethe with righteous fury.

So am I just a fuddy duddy now? Should I turn in my movie geek lifetime member card and

shamble over to the assisted living facility?

Nah. It’s all a matter of perspective. The reality is, despite finding myself nitpicking this movie apart like a starved vulture straddling a field mouse, I couldn’t turn it off, and that means something. I turn off movies all the time — big, box office wannabe movies with A-list celebrities. If it can’t hold my attention, I have no qualms hitting eject.

All Hell Breaks Loose held my attention for most of its run time, and I think I know why.

It’s is an admirable effort to make a movie that teenaged boys would love. It’s less concerned with the quality of acting and more focused on the gross out effectiveness of its splatter gags. When the plot begins to drag, it knows to pan the camera immediately to bare boobs because that never fails to focus attention.

There is a market for this kind of amateur, indie material, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that market included an inordinate number of adults well past their teenaged years. Goofy, nonsensical gore interlaced with an appreciative, loving nod to the drive-in classics that never merited box office billing counts for something, especially among nostalgia-loving boomers.

If a bloated CGI mess like “Gods of Egypt” can open wide and muster several million dollars in box office receipts, then this simple story of a boy who marries a virgin girl, gets killed by demonic bikers on his honeymoon and is resurrected by a cowboy Christ to exact his revenge as an indestructible zombie should be welcomed with open arms for at least trying to be fun and entertaining.

That said, I can’t recommend All Hell Breaks Loose to anyone who isn’t willing to turn their brain off and summon their inner teenager to bubble back to the surface for an hour and a half. You just won’t get it, but that’s OK. I don’t think this was ever meant for you folks anyway.

The Stuff You Care About: Hot chicks – Yes. Nudity – Yes. Gore – Considerable. Drug use – Yes. Bad Guys/Killers – Demon bikers, wouldn’t you know. Buy/Rent – Rent it.

Also Available:

Daddy’s Home The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series Turn: Washington’s Spies – The Complete Second Season The Royals: Season Two Black Mama, White Mama Disturbing Behavior Perry Mason Movie Collection: Volume 5

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