The Dead Ones
Directed by: Jeremy Kasten
Run time: 73 minutes
The Lowdown: Look, no one loves weird, gory little films more than me.
I will champion them, sing their praises, encourage and even browbeat people to watch them.
But there is a catch. One small requirement. A tiny toll fee, if you will.
Such movies have to be smart. They need to make sense. They can’t just throw a bunch of shite together and call it a horror film and expect to bask in a cavalcade of praise.
Which is why it pains me to report that The Dead Ones fails to meet any of our criteria.
Ostensibly a movie about random school violence, The Dead Ones doesn’t so much introduce its rag-tag band of four detention-bound misanthropes as just assign them each some annoying quality.
Don’t even get me started on their “punishment,” which is basically to clean up a high school after a brutal shooting spree. There is no way, absolutely none, in the real world, where juveniles would be sent into a facility that still resembled an active crime scene.
And then there are the Four Horsemen stalking and haunting the students.
I went into The Dead Ones with high hopes, but the film just isn’t interested in creating the kind of active information exchange that might forge a meaningful connection between viewer and movie. Some of you may not need that, but I sure do, which is why I never finished the film.
The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Sure.
Nudity – No.
Gore – Yes.
Drug use – Yes.
Bad Guys/Killers – Good question.
Buy/Rent – Neither.
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We weren’t able to commit to a viewing, but if you check it out and love it, please let us know.